Enmeshment is often misidentified as family closeness. An elder’s advice is usually packaged with rosy words and phrases along the lines of “I’m saying this out of love,” or “because I want the best for you,” or “because I’m older and I have more

experience in life.”

But does that person have more experience in life being you?

And there’s generally no problem with asking for and taking other people’s advice.

Enmeshment happens when you don’t follow that advice and you decide to ‘step out of line’ in

decision is not respected, and the people around you launch a verbal and emotional attack as a result of what you’ve done, then it’s a sign of enmeshment.

So what do such attacks look

like?

– Emotional manipulation:

Guilt-tripping is a big one.

You’re consistently reminded how your behavior is negatively affecting their reputation or health. Sometimes they use heavy words like, “You’re planning to kill me,” etc.

– Silent treatment: Not picking up the phone when you call, and totally ignoring you when you’re present in front of them.

– Disownment: Cutting you off financially, socially, and

emotionally is a protocol usually reserved for crossing what they deem as extreme red lines.

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